Adieu

I am sorry, I haven't written anything in a while. Every time I typed or thought about a shortie or poem, it ended being something for me alone, to make sense of the recent days, to mourn in my own way. It also doesn't help that I have been extremely busy. I wrote this letter a few days ago. I needed to get this off my chest. Hopefully, this would help me sort through my confusion.

Adieu

Tears

      splatter,

             drop,

                  smear, 

                        blot.

Pain switch on and off.

Sphere to mourn-void.

They say

          "too early".

Can I explain-

A need to connect, to unburden.

To ease the pain in my chest.

Gone,

      poof,

            no contact.

Grief has no measure,

No idea how and why.

Guilt perhaps heightens it.

One phone call would have helped.

Excuses abound..

I need one more chance to talk to her.

My scream at the virtual world, no one saw.

My heart being wrenched, no one heard.

Only alphabets and lines.

Slept hoping we could meet,

On a land no ache could spoil.

That I could see her.

And she would know.

None!

Just Ma waking me at 3 a.m.

Sleep gone.

Left for yonderland at 5.

Busy week

          no time to mourn.

Ma keeps asking how I am holding up.

Fine, always.

Truth-

        I have no  idea what I feel.

What I feel I cannot explain.

Grief.

I feel what I feel but wonder how they want me to feel. 

Murè, 

It was yours to call.