Five most important traits that distinguish Nigerians

1. Pride -- even with our country all fae-ed like a burnt tomato burger, we all feel a slight hint of pride to come from her. Even when we disown her, we still feel "blessed" with the skills we've got because of her faekryness. It's this pride that rubs most foreigners, especially African Americans, the wrong way. They don't know that we don't know how to turn it off as it flows in our blood. And most time, 99.5 percent of the time, we're unaware of it.

2. Entrepreneurship -- it's in us. I wonder why. But, I suspect the truth can only be dished in a PhD dissertation. The entrepreneurial spirit can be seen in our illegal conducts. I mean, I look at the 419ners (internet scammers) and I'm amazed at the business sense. Only wished it were put to good use. And Nigerians that put such spirit into good use, well, unstoppable. 3. Education -- with parents who make you feel not-good no matter your accomplishment, with comments like "the children who got the perfect score, did they have three heads?" and with the society's emphasis on education -- no person can make it without a degree, we love our degrees. They may be palis (papers) but they distinguish.
 

4a. Aseju (overdoing things) -- the only way to do things. Loud and more is the standard. We're all on a journey of besting or more aptly appearing to best our neighbors. Who has the largest generator? Who sends their kids to janded school? Who speaks more Britishly?

4b. Flaunting money -- you wear your money on you. Not literally. As doing so will be so bush and distinguishes old money from new money. But, men, folks have to be put in their places. If they can't smell the money on you, then their noses need check-up. I like hearing my father tell the tale of how the American government placed a ban on spraying of its dollar. In realizing it couldn't curtail Nigeria's spraying culture in parties, it settled on its one-dollar bill limit. But, does that stop us? For where?

5. Being slightly British -- well, we were colonized by the blessed Queen. As such, have remnants of her stay in us. Besides, she helps distinguish between the social classes. No matter how much we might want to be Americanized, a Nigerian-born Nigeria never will put the fork in the right hand and the knife in the left. It will be a sight to see us try. Having the fork in the left and the knife in the right isn't showing off, it's just what it is. Also, we're all on a journey to patenting the Nigerian-British accent. Right now, we're all sampling different options. So, saying we all sound the same equals to "how about stick a knife into me?"

Bonus (Jara) -- there's always jara. It never stops. Wait, that wasn't going to be the bonus. We brood violence. We're distinctively aggressive. It's normal to hear a Nigerian say a murderous thought, yet mean well. It's only for emphasis, not intent. For example, my last line in number five. Yet, I'm the most nicest, docile *cough* human being you've ever met.