The Diary of a 9ja girl in Yankee

Remember that career workshop you had in secondary school when you were about to transition into SS1. It was the only time I saw the guidance counselor. She tried to ensure I got my career path right. I was given some survey to fill, which was supposed to show me my strengths and weaknesses, and the certain career that suited me.

I remember shaking my head on how ineffective those things are, as I did completely rig the outcome. I had always wanted to be a lawyer, so I made sure that the best profession that suited me was law. Now, I didn't reminisce to pinpoint just how much one can beat the system but to talk about this: parents' expectation for your chosen field. I never understood or could picture why some parents thought they could and wanted to influence their children's career path. Now, I don't have the luxury to say that.
             
I was so into law that my favorite colors were black and white. For years, I never wore colors and hated pink like mad. My last year in secondary school, it was time for the almighty JAMB. It filtered that law wasn't accredited to major federal universities. The first time I heard the news, I shook my head, vehemently denying its truth value. But lo and behold, it was true. I had to find another major.

Blank. I had wanted law so badly that I had no inkling about any other major. My mum had friends and colleagues over to explain different courses to me. I remember Mr. Dan explaining sociology to me and how Greekish it sounded. As he kept talking, all I could think of was "Murewa, this is just need a means to an end." And even though I might not be able to study law as my first degree, it was definitively going to be my second degree. So I thought.

I eventually got admitted to the University of Ibadan to study linguistics. I had no idea what it was, but I eventually got to find out. Besides, English and linguistics work well with law, so I was told. I went through linguistics knowing it was not my lane and that I wasn't going to be a practicing linguist. It showed.

But, first year in college I learnt something else. Law wasn't for me. I can't explain why or how I came about this discovery but I knew LLM was never ever going to be put alongside my name ever. It was the time for accreditation and the ban lifted. Second year students were allowed to transfer to the department of law but I never filled a form. In fact, I never saw one. I wasn't interested.

I also experienced something. I fell in love with the creative me. Or at least, I was on my way to finding the creative me. I opened my eyes to the world of media and dug up my baby-dream of being in the industry. It made me volunteer in Diamond Radio. I could finally explain my love, my passion for music and make-believe world, both in print and on screen. I was on my way to finding my passion.
         
I transferred to University of South Florida, a journey that I can write a book on but one I am not willing to open at this moment. I had to pick another major, as USF doesn't have linguistics as a B.A. major. Then, I stumbled on English and choose creative writing as my concentration. I hated writing but English seemed pretty close to linguistics. I remember the first time I ever wrote a story for my class and how I discovered my writing capacity and my love for it. All I did was finally let go and write with no Mrs. Teboh hanging over my shoulders. I was on my way to finding my passion.

"Murewa why are you wasting your parents money?" said a friend when I told her my major. I had no answer for her. It was also my reintroduction to the Nigerian education/career mentality. Really, why was I wasting thousands of my parents' hard-earned money to get a degree that wasn't a professional one? So, I learned to say English instead of creative writing, when asked for my course of study by a Nigerian. And I braved myself for the eventually selling of law to me by such concerned individuals. In short, English just wasn't an acceptable major for a Nigerian living in the USA.

I had a conversation with a friend currently studying public relations in a UK university , my curiosity was piqued. Many months later, I got admitted into USF's College of Mass Communication. My concentration, public relations. I had found my passion. Not PR alone, but a combination of my majors. For the first time in my life, I finally understood what having passion for one's career is. But enough of my mushy mushy feelings.
         
The Nigerian community in diaspora is worse than the one at home. The list of accepted occupations and majors is stricter. If you can not be a doctor, be a pharmacist. And if not, nursing. Law or engineering are alright but so down the drain. As for English and public relations, they are definitely not on the said list. Medical related profession are the cake, the ones to bring in the ego. From the very first month I stepped into this blessed country, people have been insinuating that I needed to change my profession.

I am tired of Nigerians not understanding that I hate law as a profession, not for any other reason but because I had loved it too much once. And that I can not be a doctor because I hate the sight of blood, it makes me queasy. As for pharmacy, I hate drugs, down to its smell and really can't bear to stand on my feet for 8-12 hours. Why can't they believe that I can make it in the world of PR? So many times I want to shout that the reason my father can stand the rigor of pharmacy is because he loves it. I don't and would never ever do. But if I ever do that, I would be labeled proud, stubborn and unyielding. Now these name calling ain't new to me but one I had hoped I had left behind in 9ja.

Now this post isn't to show how crappy my life is. Sorry, my life is great. But to show just how uptight Nigerian society in diaspora is. Their expectation is even worse than the one back home, all just for bragging rights. Nigerian society would never cease to amaze me with its hypocritical social standing policy. Everyone has some knowledge about the Asian society's expectation of STEM courses but never realize just how crazy the Nigerian counterpart is. As for me, I want and need to succeed in my chosen career path, so that a Nigerian kid in diaspora can also have the chance to follow his or her passion someday.

Comments

  1. Wow. This is enlightening. I never knew this tendency with Nigerians in the US / UK. That's just too poor thinking.

    Hang in there, dear. You're going to be just fine! *hugs*

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  2. Very nice piece. Please don't mind those people. A lot of them are ill-informed and myopic. Chase your dreams they are meant to be caught.

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  3. Its just amazing how our parents feel they can run our lives for us...We live in a world where 'one size fits all' is the norm...Where you can't be termed serious if you are not a lawyer,doctor,e.t.c...I so believe that we all have our paths and like you murewa,you have found yours...And I'm so sure you'll be a success at what you do... :)

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  4. Our society is very myopic in nature, if you don't fall into the 'ideal' career such as been a doctor, lawyer, banker, pharmacist, engineer and most recently to the list is I.T expert, no one takes you serious.

    The only way to make people take you seriously is to make loads of cash out of what they think is a joke….

    Nice post

    **whewww, posting this for the umpteenth time, hope this one goes tho**

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  5. @deolubbles I am sorry you had a difficult time replying and thanks for trying again for the umpteenth time.

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  6. Great reflections Murewa!...This story needs to be told a thousand times over. Career and Passion! Thanks for sharing

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  7. Yes @Tobi Odunowo, it certainly needs to be told over and over. And thanks for having me on the front page of your paper.li.

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  8. Dis is really a beautiful piece...u just touch every part of me...i really appreciate ur effort...peace

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  9. @Olaitan thanks too for reading.

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  10. But why spend so much time and effort going abroad only to go and hang out with or near Nigerians?
    That in itself is a problem.

    I live in the UK and I wont even live in a community that has a high Nigerian presence. I attend a Nigerian Church and attend Nigerian parties and events now and again but I never forget that I am in a foreign country.
    There's too much to learn for me out here to be spending all my time hanging out with Nigerians or be in a situation where I will find myself upset at what they say about me.

    I have Nigerian friends here who eat Nigerian food for breakfast, lunch and dinner every single day. What is the point? Why not go back home?

    I dont even see what the problem is here at all. Nigerians complain about your choice of course abroad? Are they the ones who sent you there?

    This is one of the biggest problems we have with diaspora people who come abroad and fail to immerse themselves in the systems and cultures of their hosts...hence when they return home, they usually dont have anything useful to offer Nigeria.

    I am a Nigerian living in the UK. That's my story. At least for now.

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  11. I'm a medical student.... I think a demon bored a hole in my brain when I was younger and deceived me that I wanted to be a doctor. I'm dead serious. Or someone in my village was doing me.
    I grew up screaming to all who cared to listen that I was going to be a plastic surgeon when I grow up. Fabulous school results, fabulous jamb, fabulous waec. I wrote each of these exams twice and I spanked all times. I was on my way to becoming a doctor! Yay me. Lots of admission drama went down but I still found my self in med school one way. Then my wahala began....
    I joined my departmental press and was made the E-n-C. Then I started discovering myself. I started doing grafitti. I was in charge of the fashion articles, I had to take photographs... Bla bla bla. I was introduced to a whole lot of non-medical stuff. I started losing interest in medicine. I had to rethink my life.
    Today I design clothes, style people, do serious make overs ( lord jesus people NEED this! ), make up, hair styling, I make jewellery too. And the baddest of it all, I'm a budding photographer. See a pattern? I want to work in the fashion industry. I want to have photoshoots and scream 'give me sexy'. It took me tasting med school to discover my passion. I've had to streamline things cus I know I can't combine ALL of these with med school at the moment but I know someday, ill be who I want to be. Shebi I've discovered my passion now. The question now is How I wan take tell Prof? How I wan tell my papa sey I wan dey snap foto?
    My parents are always saying bla bla bla, follow your dreams but be smart about it. People don't take photographers seriously in this country do they?

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  12. Haha, I am a practicing lawyer, but with a twist and hearing you speak about the former love for law and your new distaste just has me rolling.
    We will always have the name tagging game with us. Crazy lives we Nigerians live. You can do very well in PR, everyone has a path, a path that leads to greatness under whatever term we may choose to coin it.
    The phrase "hypocritical social standing policy" is apt!!!

    Nice work ma.

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  13. @shutterbabedemi, thanks for making me laugh. I definitely needed that. And I love your last sentence, not that I didn't love your comment in general. Our parents always saying "follow your dreams," but their "but" both through body language et all cancels out their statement.
    My father has a hard time that my B. Sc brother chooses photography as his path in life. The idea that his first son wants to be a photographer is just too much to chew. I believe our parent do not understand just how much these profession has evolved and that it is more classy and professional.

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  14. :( I always wanted to be a stripper, bartender, pornstar or deejay but sadly I'm a vet doctor *chokes on raw rabbit meat* ok that's me joking! I never wanted the 'DR' but I guess I'm happy where I am right now! Good piece miss smallie

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  15. Uchay Ifediniru OnuakalusiNovember 4, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    Myopic views. These Days Its Not Parents That Try To Dictate Courses For Their Children,Its The Misguided people in the society due to a poverty minded value system.

    Pursue your dreams,be the best you can be.

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  16. thumbs up for your post, from the depth's of the heart the mouth speaket. Pls help me educate this parents that force their kids to do what they have no passion for. Because Ngozi,Gbemi or Zainab is studying it, doesn't mean i have to study too.Many parents fail to believe that.They think their kids have superficial powers to study course they are not caught out for. In the business world, people make it because they do things they have passion for, not something their parents forced down their throats. Good luck to you anyway...

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  17. Murres, great piece! The journey to finding ones life goal is often a difficult one especially with the expectations all around. But I believe when you find it you should hang on to it as tightly as you can regardless of what the norm is. Remember you only live once

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  18. Youths Change NigeriaNovember 4, 2011 at 11:00 PM

    One of the issues you talked about which I took religiously was that "The Nigerian community in diaspora is worse than the one at home. The list of accepted occupations and majors is stricter. If you can not be a doctor, be a pharmacist. And if not, nursing. Law or engineering are alright but so down the drain. As for English and public relations, they are definitely not on it. Medical related profession are the cake, the ones to bring in the ego. From the very first month I stepped into this blessed country, people have been insinuating that I needed to change my profession."Note that Nigerians in diaspora as those at home prefer "temperance" with the truth! So if you would try next time to tell it more softly, I am sure they'd love you. At any rate I have sent the link to some of such groups who came to this country with that primitive assumption that certain professions are superior, and so became divine media of recommending the "privileged" courses. Your article (to say the least) is awesomely brilliant. Bravo!!

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  19. Real and fundamental issued treated: from presumptions of disciplinary presumptions to mundane matters, Murewa Olubela has indeed knocked off the lid of hypocritical tenets. It's been a while since I last heard a Nigerian tell it as it is (apart from Joseph Campbell, former US Ambassador to Nigeria in his book "Dancing on the Brink" where he totally flayed Nigerian mental docility and moral complicity. You, Murewa, have demonstrated that you have a niche, independent of the general malaise and siphoning sycophancy. Again, you have made my year--not my day.

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  20. @Youth Change Nigeria thanks for words, although I must confess they are quite high for me. I am just a young girl who say things as she sees it. And thank you for allowing me to make your year(day).

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  21. Murewa, we do need to stand-up for wat we want. Your life's worth is a reflection of the choices you make. I believe fulfillment and hapiness comes only from doing those things we love. like the Yorubas wud say, 'a bi n bi ya tho si ability'. u your talent and skill are uniquely yours, d ease wit which u complete certain task isn't for some other people. wat am Isaying? your destiny and purpose is tied to wat is in you. God has deposited in us only dat which shd make us great. d problem is we do not knw who we are in d inside of us. once u able to figure out ur person inside u then will u be able to channel ur innate talent to the development of d person inside u. Be great, be different.

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  22. Great one... I was caught in things like this when making a career decision but my Inquisitive self knew what my heart wanted and am enjoying it... My friends who laughed at me then because I chose not to be a BANKER (I detest this career like shit) felt I was a loser adn then the hurricane SANUSI swept them all out. They cant fit into another profession because they never thought they will ever leave the BANKING ENVIRONMENT...

    LET THEM SAY ...

    Next time when they advise you to change your career, Ask them If they ever thought you could win the Noble Prize for Literature.

    STAY HUNGRY STAY FOOLISH

    Great work....
    keep it up

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  23. Nigerians and bragging rights. I can so relate to this. Follow your passion that is the key to happiness.

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  24. This is a cool writeup. You know what you want, so go get it.

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  25. Im also in an American university and im studying media and communication and let me tell you i understand how it feels to have someone look at you like you just traveled abroad to waste your parents money. I used to hide my major but ive made peace with it and i am determined to succeed with this degree of mine.

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  26. @Anonymous 9:13 PM, I am glad that you have the drive to succeed. Hopefully we meet soon and compare notes.

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  27. Whoa Murray! glad you know what u doind. You knbow u can make it from anywhere, anyhowz. Keep keepin it megareal!

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  28. Whoa Murray! glad you know what u doind. You knbow u can make it from anywhere, anyhowz. Keep keepin it megareal!

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  29. Murewa...this article summarizes..wake up and smell the coffee..you are on the right path deear...i could feel positive energy while reading this..yu are too gbasky and finally i connect with you..even though i have spoken with you just once..ku ise ooo..omo re re..would be pleased to have you as a guest columnits on our upcoming blog soon..just resigned my job to fully commit to what i love doing...Much love

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  30. life is so funny.dreams can change.

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