The Nigerian Immigrant Road and The Darling That Is @UzoAduba

On Monday, the 4th of August, The Daily Beast published an article that Uzo Aduba wrote about her journey to playing Suzanne on Orange is the New Black. You can read my review on Orange is the New Black by clicking the link.

Uzo's My Road to ‘Orange Is the New Black’ makes you smile as it tackles frustration pursuing a non-traditional career, reaching the breaking point and getting ready to drop it all. A tale I am quite familiar with, and I assume many others are familiar with too. While Uzo's status as an American citizen, since she was born here, might be different from many others, her story still resonates. The lines that gets me jumping up and down most is:

My uncle once told me, “Your parents didn’t leave Nigeria for you to just be standing still, Uzo.” These words resonated with me long after I had first heard them, and I took them to heart.

Like many Nigerian sayings, one that I suspect stems from our tonal language, the words offer a deeper meaning than what easily comes across off on screen. While it's easy to read it as an encouragement, it is not. It is a Nigerian's way of telling you you aren't performing as you should have or how your mates are. It's a "respectful" way to tell you you need to stop what you are doing, rethink your life and do something conventional, like be a doctor or a lawyer. It is a way of telling you, with as much respect to your feelings as could be managed, that you have failed your family and it is time to make it right.

These words have the power to funnel you into deep depression. It also, like in Uzo's case, can push you to be better at your craft, give it your all. Which will you push you faster into hitting rock bottom when your efforts do not pan out. Because, in the creative world, you have to pay your dues. But, most Nigerians do not understand or care about you paying your dues. We all sell or have bought into this unrealistic depiction of legal immigration. Nobody sits you down and tells you straight-face, "well, it is a bitch."

Maybe, someday, Nigerians would realize how crazy it is to live in a land that is not yours and throw away the expectation they have of someone living abroad. These expectations were molded by earlier immigrants who had it easier -- for example, could get free/cheap meats Americans did not eat and used to throw away -- and who worked menial jobs. They would save money, starving themselves in the process and doing unsayables, and go back home to live flamboyant lives, in the short time they visit, selling the lie that America is the land of milk and honey or the assumption that money grows trees here.

Dear Nigerians, the ones who came before and worked as cab drivers et all, lied and the ones now living here are still lying. America would sink its claws on your back and breast, draw it down in a painfully, slowly, and deep grip. When you finally make it, your scars are so hideous, you hide it under colorful clothes and makeup and pretend they aren't there. If the scars do not hold you from sharing, the belief that you have not made it, cannot be comfortable enough to share your tale and risk it all keeps you mute. But, each night, you trace the hideousity and cry yourself to sleep. 

To the Nigerians who are here, please learn to show your scars. I know it takes a while to learn to love them. But, show your scars. It will save many an unwarranted heartache and it might jump-start your journey into loving your scars.